Monday, February 27, 2006

Latest Discovery - librarians have a sense of humor

Who says we don't have a sense of humour? Of course we do, librarians have a better sense of humour than a lampshade. A columnist has defined humour as "a measurement of the extent to which we realise that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.”

Apparently, many librarians do not realise that it’s possible to make things out of nothing at all, twist the truth, make unbelievable statements and call it fiction. Well, curse upon anyone who writes humorous fiction about librarians, death to those who write anything about reference librarians. In the case of an article I have written, the characters are all fictitious. Except for the ones I didn't have to make up. The librarians who are smiledisabled. One library patron described librarians in my library as "stoned face". One can never embellish this character. I often write in the stereotypical spinster bun in the hair fashion. But then I have more than once, spotted a few austere (“stoned faced” ) ones not far from the characters I have written about.

I have observed that a few of my colleagues in this library and elsewhere, have developed an unsuspecting trust in chain emails asking for blood, sending gold medallions to dying child, cold bananas cause lupus etc. Mused, I wrote a spoof for a library publication. My dream of becoming a celebrated Library Newsletter Writer of the century was shattered. I spent the entire day in an unconscious state when the editor of the library newsletter rejected my article. Next to global warming, she was deeply concerned about potential violent etaliation from co-workers and the library community at large. My article she deemed too "spicy".

I felt dejected . I concluded that librarians ' lack of humor cannot be explained by any known neuro-sciences or law of physics.

Well, fellow blogarians, Read my article re- produced below and send a smile by email, to support my cause to fight violations of freedom to humor!

From: Nineteen 97
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: ‘Help a librarian’ plea

I am a very sick library employee. I was born without a smile. It doesn't hurt, except when I sit at the reference desk.

The surgeons gave me an artificial smile. My lips are injected with acid free paper lint fibres. The surgeons said that was the best they could do on account of employees in de-linked universities having no money for medical insurance.

I would like to have a smile transplant, but I need a raise funds.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Wing-Yuen Mei-siu said if you forward this e-mail then Bill Gates will collaborate with Arthur Li and do an online survey with SARSA (Special Administrative Region Space Administration). Then the SARSA astronauts will collect virtual well wishes and prayers from librarians all over the world and take them up to Princess Long Ear (zhang er 常耳 ) of the Moon, then they will go to the Li Foundation, and they will take a cash donation to my surgeons at SARCASM Hospital (Special Administrative Region Courtesy And Smile Management Hospital).

Maybe one day I will be able to answer your enquiries with a smile. The surgeons said that when you forward this email to a friend or relative, the astronauts can take their prayers to Princess Long Ear. Please help me. I want a smile. I don't want the paper lint in my lips to turn mouldy before I turn 60.

If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. You're just an apathetic and heartless person who doesn't care about a poor librarian without a smile. I hope that you can never find any book or journal in the library when you need it most!

Please help me. I try to smile at users but it is hard.
Thank You.
Siu Ng Lok
The reference librarian without a smile

Dsiclaimer: Any resemblance (no matter how familiar they seem to you) in my stories to any person, alive or dead, is purely, coincidental even if they happen to have the exactly the same names, bodies and facial features as actual people. This spoof does not reflect the opinions of my employer, my organisation or my pet fish; don't quote me on anything, If you don’t get the joke, do not attempt to repair it yourself, please send it back to any authorised joke service centre. May be hazardous to yourself and family. No animals, alive or dead, are used to test the credibility of the story. If you develop a rash or irritation, relax and get a life.